Favorite Excerpts from Night of the Jaguar by Michael Gruber

On marijuana use: You dead people are very strange. You know chaikora, but you take it without chanting, and also you don't mix it with its brothers and sisters, so that it can speak to you properly. We say that assua is the brother and uassinai is the sister of chaikora. Together they are one of the small holy families that help you listen to the animal spirits. Now, without the rest of the holy family, we can't hear the animal spirits very well, but only the spirits in our own heads. What's the good of that?

On modern man: Because we Runiya are alive in this world. We are inside it, and the plants, and animals, stones and sky and stars, sun and moon, are our friends and relatives. That's what it means to be alive. A fish is alive and a bird, too. But you are outside the world, looking in on it as the ghosts do, and making mischief and destruction, like ghosts do. Therefore we say you are dead like they are. Also, when a person is alive, they carry their death behind them and this is one way we tell a live person from a ghost. But you carry your deaths inside you all the time, so you can have the power of death over all things. So we call you dead people.

More on modern man: So later when they returned from the dream world Moie had asked the priest what was so funny, and Father Tim said that the yana gives you the eye of God, and to God everything must be amusing, as we find the stumbles and tantrums of small children amusing. They think it is the end of the world, but we just pick them up and give them food and a hug, knowing that their momentary pain will soon pass. And this is when Moie discovered that Father Tim was able to keep himself separate from the god when he traveled to the dream world in the yana trance. This was a wonder to Moie, and the two men talked often after that about what Father Tim called ontology. Long, long ago, said Father Tim, everyone's thoughts were like water, connected to every thing and part of every thing. There was no difference between people's thoughts and the rest of the world and the fathers of the wai'ichuranan lived just the like the Runiya. Then one of these ancestors had a thought that was made not of water but of iron. And soon many of the wai'ichuranan had such thoughts, and with such thoughts they cut themselves away from the world and began to slice it up into tiny parts. Thus they gained their great powers over the world, and thus also they began to be dead.

On religion: Well, my mother used to say that when people stopped worshipping God they didn't stop worshipping entirely. She thought the urge to worship was hardwired into humankind, like the urge for procreation. So they worshipped lesser gods, mainly themselves, as being most convenient, but also things like money, fame and sex. Or youth. And these gods all fail, just like Pan did, being tied to corruptible and earthly things.

On consciousness: ...substance dualism, the idea that consciousness is its own thing and exists independently of the material brain, as Descartes believed. It satisfies all the problems of consciousness by explaining them away - the ghost in the machine, as they call it, or rather all problems except one, and that's the killer: how do you imagine any gearing or connection between the material and the immaterial? How does an immaterial mind cause a material event, say, the firing of neurons in the motor cortex that move your arms? Substance dualism implies conscious immaterial beings that are nevertheless capable of influencing matter.

On self: In general humans tend to be uncomfortable locked in the prison of the self. Our own identification with nations and sports teams is probably a relic of that, and on a higher level there's religion, of course. Traditional peoples often identify with animals, and from this we get imitative magic. The shaman allows the spirit of the totemic animal to occupy his psyche. He becomes the animal, and not in a merely symbolic way. To him and the people participating he is the bison, or whatever. They see a bison. ...It's a mistake to assume that they psyches of traditional people are the same as ours. You might just as well say that the particle physicist hallucinates his data in accordance with a ritual called science. ...Traditional people are mainly substance dualists, of course. The spirit is completely separate from the flesh, and the body it happens to occupy at the moment is not the only body it can occupy. Anthro[pology] tends to draw the line here because we don't understand how it's possible to do that, since we're all supposed to be good little material monists.

SNL Tell Him Lyrics

I know! somethin’ about love, you gotta want him bad
If the guy’s got into your blood, go out and get him

If you want him to be the very part of you, that makes you wanna breathe
Here’s the thing to do

Tell him that you’re never gonna leave him
Tell him that you’re always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

But guys, I did tell him that on our first date. I told him I would never leave him, and that I would always love him! He seemed...really weirded out.

Oh my god, you can’t say something that intense on your first date!

Yeah, Kendra, when you first start dating a guy you have to keep things light and casual. Before you tell him you love him, you have to tell him a lot of other things first.

Tell him that you don’t believe in marriage,
tell him that you don’t care if you have kids
tell him, tell him, tell him all lies

But I love him, why would I lie to him?

She's not getting it!

You see, lies are a natural part of the dating process.

Especially early on.

You need to show him that you’re not one of those girls.

What do you mean those girls?

I mean, like, girls.

You need to -
Tell him that you love watching hockey
Tell him that you play Call Of Duty
Tell him you’re a total nerd and you love reading comics

But I don’t understand! I don’t even know what Call of Duty is. What if he asks me to play it with him?

Trust me, he’ll never ask you to play. He just wants you to appreciate all the time he spends playing it.

And if guys want to watch sports and sci fi all day, why don’t they just date each other?

Increasingly, they do. In fact, psychologists predict that eventually all men will become gay just to watch their favorite shows.

But for now, they still need sex. And when it comes to that, you have to seem fun and up for anything.

Tell him that you are open to a three-way
Tell him that you watch porn every day
Tell him that you are not grossed out when he says the word panties.

Well what do ya want us to call them?!

UNDERWEAR!

Blehhhhhhhh!

Okay, so early on I have to lie to him a little. But once we’re dating, then we’re just honest with each other, right? 

No. Then you enter a new phase of lies. I call it...maintaining the mystery.

I know something about men, and they never want to know
How us women keep it all up
You have to hide it

If you want him to stay, pining after you
Then you have to hide the things all we must do

Tell him that you’re naturally hairless
Make him think that you never use the bathroom
Then when he’s asleep you can run to Starbucks

Wait, I can never go to the bathroom?

NO!!

Of course not. I went away to Mexico with a guy once I spent so much time in the lobby bathroom people started tipping me. One night after a big dinner I had to fake a kidnapping just to get a couple hours alone. But it was worth it, cuz at the end of the trip he said I was one of the chillest girls he’d ever met and that he would call me. 

Did he?

It’s been a real crazy work year for him an'...we’re gonna hang out, real soon, though.

This all seems like a lot of deception, just to fall in love!

But here’s the deal, these are just the things we say until we actually fall in love. When we met the one, none of this matters. You can finally just be yourself and not worry about playing games or tricking him.

Then you know it will be
True love from fairytales
You’ll both be happy
But if he tries to bail…

Tell him that you’re pregnant and it’s his kid
Tell him that you need to get married
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now.

Ruminations of Others - 19 Jul '11

from The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

"There is no evidence that we've been placed on this planet to be especially happy or especially normal. And in fact our unhappiness and our strangeness, our anxieties and compulsions, those least fashionable aspects of our personalities, are quite often what lead us to do rather interesting things."

Smoky Spanish-Style Pan Roast - made 28 Jun '10

Shawn said "feel free to make this once a week." :-)

1 lb. small red new potatoes, halved
2 T olive oil
3/4 t salt, divided
1/2 t freshly ground black pepper, divided
3/4 lb. shrimp
1/4 lb. Spanish chorizo, thinly sliced
1 lb. green beans, trimmed
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 c pilsner beer
1/2 t Spanish smoked paprika
2 red bell peppers, cut into thin strips
1/4 c fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves

1. Preheat oven to 400.

2. Combine potatoes, oil, 1/2 t salt, and 1/4 t black pepper in a large roasting pan, tossing well to coat potatoes. Arrange potatoes in a single layer, cut side down, in pan. Bake at 400 for 15 min. or until potatoes are lightly browned.

3. While potatoes cook (if necessary) peel shrimp, leaving tails intact. Devein shrimp if desired, and set aside.

4. Stir chorizo, beans, garlic, remaining 1/4 t salt and remaining 1/4 t pepper into pan. Bake at 400 for 10 min. Add beer, paprika, and bell pepper, scraping pan to loosen browned bits. Nestle shrimp into vegetable mixture. Bake at 400 for 10 min. or until potatoes and green beans are tender and shrimp are done. Sprinkle with fresh parsley leaves.

Serves 4.

Dinner and Ruminations 10 May 2010

Thai red curry sauce, thinned out more
less rice noodles
bamboo shoots
fresh basil
big mushrooms

MajohMemory:the smell of red Thai curry slammed me back to standing in the kitchen,
emptying cartons and savoring the smell of food and more to come.

Three Bean Burgers - made 4/28/10

1 (15-ounce) can tri-bean blend, rinsed and drained (black, pinto & kidney)
1 egg
1/2 onion, chopped
1 cup bread crumbs
1 1/2 t '21 Seasoning Salute' (from Trader Joe's)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Sea salt and white/colored pepper to taste
A few shakes of Tabasco Chipotle sauce
1 to 2 tablespoons olive or canola oil
6 whole wheat hamburger buns
6 green leaf lettuce leaves
Smokey sharp cheddar cheese slices

Put beans in a large bowl and mash well with hand potato masher. Add egg, onion, bread crumbs, seasoning, garlic powder, salt, pepper and chipotle sauce. Mix well to combine, then shape into 6 patties.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Arrange patties in a single layer (working in batches, if needed) and cook, flipping once, until golden brown on both sides and cooked through, about 10 minutes total. Transfer to buns, top with lettuce and cheese and serve.

New mom poem from 19 Oct. 2008

between sleep
almost morning
quiet and warm with you, baby
my beautiful little boy
soon our exhausted nights will end
--first poem written w/ my 'Motherhood' magnetic poetry (o:

I know that cars line the streets
but swaying in the dark, urging this boy in my arms to sleep,
the sky and air smell a hundred years old.

1905, standing on my newly-built porch, staring at the dirt street and
listening to the occasional dog howl
Contemplating the yellowing leaves of the trees and the
grim face of the darkened house across the street...

I suppose my petticoat self never thought about drive-bys
Or frowned at cop cars racing 90 down the street.
Instead she might have feared wayward horse hooves
Or street car mishaps - dangers of these downtown suburbs.

But I'm sure we both wished for sleeping babes and a full night's rest
Sweet dreams and a morning sun
And the promise of warmth as the winter whispered hello.

Long-Cooked Pork Shoulder

This is going to be ready in about 2 hours. I finally went to the Asian store by our house (13 block walk to downtown Denver) and was able to find the [Shao Hsing] wine and the double [black] soy sauce, along with some other favorites I haven't bought since my last time in the Falls Church Han Ah Reum.

Long-Cooked Pork Shoulder from Mastering the Art of Chinese Cooking by Peter Perez, Senior Marketing Manager for Chronicle Books.

The Pacific Mercantile store is pretty impressive. And it's less than a block away from the Denver Buddhist Temple, which is just uplifting to walk by. Awesome courtyard.

P.S. I love you, Meiji Kinoko No Yama Chocolate mushrooms, sincerely.

Ruminations - 22 Feb '10

I've decided that there is faith in belief that focuses less on what could exist at large, but what will exist (maybe?) in a century or six centuries or 1,000 years from now. Taking the focus off of what has been (or said to be); instead focusing on what can and most likely will be.

At death, does it truly matter that you and your perceived center of the universe disappear? What really matters is what continues to be after you're gone. The belief that things will go on without you, despite you, completely ignorant of you. The belief that things could be going on, intelligently, 800 billion light years away from you. Looking at the scientific and historic record, however, you can accept with great faith that existence, wherever or whenever it may be, will continue. But you can't prove it.

I'm not saying that you can't believe in a higher power or a mischief-making God or an angry God or God transforming the universe with love. Is that the only central question in life? To grapple with other questions, such as:

• Have humans reached their full mental capabilities? If not, can humans reach a higher level of perception/improved use of the mind, or are we at our capacity in current form?
• Do societal pressure and man-made systems slow down our mental progression, and if so, can this be overcome? 
• Can humans save current and forthcoming scientific knowledge for distant generations in a way that is safe and accessible, and easily understandable, should there be a sudden, severe population decimation? Or would great knowledge be lost again?

I am not steady in my faith of humanity itself. I believe that things can and will go on, but not that we could improve ourselves and our consciousness to a level beyond that which has been the norm throughout human history. That will take an extra leap of faith.

Ruminations of Others & Myself - 22 Feb '10

The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up. ~Robert Persin

In my head I hear a loop that meanders: Ha! Dried pitted plums. Delicious, but you can't fool me. PRUNES. Say it. PRUNES. Pssh. “Dried pitted plums.”

I'm not denying that it has a much better ring. A female superhero representing antioxidants on a bag of prunes coupon ad is just sad, though.

Ruminations of Others - 14 Feb '10

from COLLECTED POEMS 1948-1984
by Derek Walcott

Love after Love

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Lazy Slow Cooker Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup - made 2/14/10

modified from Sharon123's Recipezaar recipe.

4 cups cooked chicken, chopped (one roasted chicken)
1 cup onion, diced
1 cup celery, diced
1 cup carrot, diced
1/2 cup frozen peas
56 oz. low sodium chicken broth
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup with roasted garlic
1 can condensed cream of chicken & mushroom soup
2 teaspoons fines herbes
salt
pepper, to taste
1 package egg noodles, cooked

1. Remove skin from the chicken and chop the meat.

2. Saute the celery, carrots and onions w/ the fines herbes to soften.

3. Put the chicken into a slow cooker with the onions, celery, carrots and peas.

4. Stir in broth and soup. Season with salt and pepper.

5. Cover and cook on high for 3 to 4 hours or low for 8 to 9 hours.

6. When soup is finished, stir in egg noodles.

Feel Good Article of the Day - 4 Feb '10

From Gretchen on Mile High Mamas:
An Ode to the Only Child

Ruminations of Others - 1 Feb '10

from @hikespace

Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake. ~Wallace Stevens

My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing. ~Aldous Huxley

Solvitur ambulando. (To solve a problem, walk around.) ~St. Jerome

Ruminations of Others & Myself - 30 Jan '10

Do you think talent dies over time, or lies latent, waiting for you to get up the courage to do something about it?

from The Angel's Game
by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

A religion is really a moral code that is expressed through legends, myths, or any type of literary device in order to establish a system of beliefs, values, and rules with which to regulate a culture or a society.

Everything is a tale...What we believe, what we know, what we remember, even what we dream. Everything is a story, a narrative, a sequence of events with characters communicating an emotional content. We only accept as true what can be narrated.

Ruminations of Others - 28 Jan '10

From this posting.
by Julia Sweeney:

I don't know how full-time moms do it. I can't get anything done when Mulan is around. It's a miracle if I get to read e-mail and keep the house from turning into a dump. I have no idea how someone takes care of more than one kid and does things like... oh, make dinner. OHMYGOD. I am so glad I became a mother because I think I would feel uppity about at-home mothers. Now I know it's the hardest job in the world.

also:

How can anyone think pornography is inherently bad when we involuntarily write, direct and star in it for ourselves while we sleep?

Sometimes I think life is too fragile for me to go through it without anesthetizing myself. I used to do it with God, and then I did it with sugar, and fried food. But now I just feel it, and it feels pretty damn bad sometimes.

Do Be Do Be Doooo

Left the office for once today. Got coffee, walked around the block, and sat in the sunshine on an old bus bench. Watched two policemen checking out an apartment, a man playing w/ his son & a woman w/ her dog in the park, and another woman in a red car sit w/ her turn signal on at the edge of the parking lot for 5 min.

I sat looking at that parking lot, which was a fenced-up wasteland for 2 of the 3 years I've been looking down at it out my work window. I reflected on how little I actually leave the building during the day to just sit, although I could easily do so. And I thought about the great urge to DO vs. BE.

I would say that the compulsion to do is greater, but there is a fair amount of guilt about not taking the time to be. Every day, with the vast amount of media at my fingertips, I spend plenty of time thinking about how I should work on this, or craft that, or read those books & articles & tech tips, etc. etc. - all the do urges.

But to be would mean standing back from all this input and making sense of it. Connecting the dots and forming an internal vision of how events/people/histories tie together; or alternately, taking the time to understand something in great depth, research and all. Maybe a class, or maybe just personal, insatiable knowledge, to set an example for my son.

Which leads back to the need to do...and instead, the other night I sat in bed and watched an awful movie on instant Netflix.

One walk outside at a time?

Ruminations of Others - 21 Jan '10

From this Ameritrade article.

Posted today by my friend Jacque:

Our time is up, says Scottish historian Alexander Tytler, recently quoted by economist Marc Faber: "The average life span of the world's greatest civilizations has been 200 years." Then "once a society becomes successful it becomes arrogant, righteous, overconfident, corrupt, and decadent ... overspends ... costly wars ... wealth inequity and social tensions increase; and society enters a secular decline."

Ruminations of Others - 20 Jan '10

Posted on this Denver Post article.

by Susan E:

While I love your post and Gandhi's quote, I see things quite differently. The churches and people who call themselves "Christian" often aren't. It's just a label they like to use. It's their public relations effort to convince themselves and others that they are good and the more troubled they are, the more they need to use this label.

"Christian" simply means Christlike. True Christians often don't bother with the label. I've noticed many Buddhists and Unitarians are more Christian than those who think of themselves as Christian. Christians are out in the world doing God's work; their fannies are not warming pew benches. Pew benches are for those who would like to be Christian, but will probably never get there.

Christians are followers of Christ. Those who are extremely familiar with the Bible, but are judgmental and full of hatred for others are not followers of Christ. They are simply doing their own thing. They are incapable. Meanwhile people like Gandhi, who are aware of Christ's teachings and follow them are Christians. I believe that there are great people in the world who may not be all that familiar with Christ and his teachings who are natural followers of Christ and don't even know it.

Chicken Noodle Soup - made 1/17/10

(modified from original Cooking Light recipe)

2 cups water
1 (32-oz) carton fat-free, low sodium chicken broth
1 T olive oil
1/2 cup onion
1/2 c celery
1/2 c carrot
1 t salt
1/2 t freshly ground black pepper
6 oz. leftover egg noodles (with some broccoli thrown in)
2 1/2 cups shredded skinless, boneless chicken breast (poached)
2 T chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
garlic salt

1. Heat oil in a pot over medium-high heat, swirling to coat. Add onion, celery, carrot, salt & pepper, and saute until almost tender.

2. Pour in broth and water and bring to a boil. Stir in noodles & chicken breast - cook 1 min. or until thoroughly heated. Stir in parsley.

6 servings (Serving size ~ 1 cup)