SNL Tell Him Lyrics

I know! somethin’ about love, you gotta want him bad
If the guy’s got into your blood, go out and get him

If you want him to be the very part of you, that makes you wanna breathe
Here’s the thing to do

Tell him that you’re never gonna leave him
Tell him that you’re always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

But guys, I did tell him that on our first date. I told him I would never leave him, and that I would always love him! He seemed...really weirded out.

Oh my god, you can’t say something that intense on your first date!

Yeah, Kendra, when you first start dating a guy you have to keep things light and casual. Before you tell him you love him, you have to tell him a lot of other things first.

Tell him that you don’t believe in marriage,
tell him that you don’t care if you have kids
tell him, tell him, tell him all lies

But I love him, why would I lie to him?

She's not getting it!

You see, lies are a natural part of the dating process.

Especially early on.

You need to show him that you’re not one of those girls.

What do you mean those girls?

I mean, like, girls.

You need to -
Tell him that you love watching hockey
Tell him that you play Call Of Duty
Tell him you’re a total nerd and you love reading comics

But I don’t understand! I don’t even know what Call of Duty is. What if he asks me to play it with him?

Trust me, he’ll never ask you to play. He just wants you to appreciate all the time he spends playing it.

And if guys want to watch sports and sci fi all day, why don’t they just date each other?

Increasingly, they do. In fact, psychologists predict that eventually all men will become gay just to watch their favorite shows.

But for now, they still need sex. And when it comes to that, you have to seem fun and up for anything.

Tell him that you are open to a three-way
Tell him that you watch porn every day
Tell him that you are not grossed out when he says the word panties.

Well what do ya want us to call them?!

UNDERWEAR!

Blehhhhhhhh!

Okay, so early on I have to lie to him a little. But once we’re dating, then we’re just honest with each other, right? 

No. Then you enter a new phase of lies. I call it...maintaining the mystery.

I know something about men, and they never want to know
How us women keep it all up
You have to hide it

If you want him to stay, pining after you
Then you have to hide the things all we must do

Tell him that you’re naturally hairless
Make him think that you never use the bathroom
Then when he’s asleep you can run to Starbucks

Wait, I can never go to the bathroom?

NO!!

Of course not. I went away to Mexico with a guy once I spent so much time in the lobby bathroom people started tipping me. One night after a big dinner I had to fake a kidnapping just to get a couple hours alone. But it was worth it, cuz at the end of the trip he said I was one of the chillest girls he’d ever met and that he would call me. 

Did he?

It’s been a real crazy work year for him an'...we’re gonna hang out, real soon, though.

This all seems like a lot of deception, just to fall in love!

But here’s the deal, these are just the things we say until we actually fall in love. When we met the one, none of this matters. You can finally just be yourself and not worry about playing games or tricking him.

Then you know it will be
True love from fairytales
You’ll both be happy
But if he tries to bail…

Tell him that you’re pregnant and it’s his kid
Tell him that you need to get married
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now.

Ruminations of Others - 19 Jul '11

from The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

"There is no evidence that we've been placed on this planet to be especially happy or especially normal. And in fact our unhappiness and our strangeness, our anxieties and compulsions, those least fashionable aspects of our personalities, are quite often what lead us to do rather interesting things."

Smoky Spanish-Style Pan Roast - made 28 Jun '10

Shawn said "feel free to make this once a week." :-)

1 lb. small red new potatoes, halved
2 T olive oil
3/4 t salt, divided
1/2 t freshly ground black pepper, divided
3/4 lb. shrimp
1/4 lb. Spanish chorizo, thinly sliced
1 lb. green beans, trimmed
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 c pilsner beer
1/2 t Spanish smoked paprika
2 red bell peppers, cut into thin strips
1/4 c fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves

1. Preheat oven to 400.

2. Combine potatoes, oil, 1/2 t salt, and 1/4 t black pepper in a large roasting pan, tossing well to coat potatoes. Arrange potatoes in a single layer, cut side down, in pan. Bake at 400 for 15 min. or until potatoes are lightly browned.

3. While potatoes cook (if necessary) peel shrimp, leaving tails intact. Devein shrimp if desired, and set aside.

4. Stir chorizo, beans, garlic, remaining 1/4 t salt and remaining 1/4 t pepper into pan. Bake at 400 for 10 min. Add beer, paprika, and bell pepper, scraping pan to loosen browned bits. Nestle shrimp into vegetable mixture. Bake at 400 for 10 min. or until potatoes and green beans are tender and shrimp are done. Sprinkle with fresh parsley leaves.

Serves 4.

Dinner and Ruminations 10 May 2010

Thai red curry sauce, thinned out more
less rice noodles
bamboo shoots
fresh basil
big mushrooms

MajohMemory:the smell of red Thai curry slammed me back to standing in the kitchen,
emptying cartons and savoring the smell of food and more to come.

Three Bean Burgers - made 4/28/10

1 (15-ounce) can tri-bean blend, rinsed and drained (black, pinto & kidney)
1 egg
1/2 onion, chopped
1 cup bread crumbs
1 1/2 t '21 Seasoning Salute' (from Trader Joe's)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Sea salt and white/colored pepper to taste
A few shakes of Tabasco Chipotle sauce
1 to 2 tablespoons olive or canola oil
6 whole wheat hamburger buns
6 green leaf lettuce leaves
Smokey sharp cheddar cheese slices

Put beans in a large bowl and mash well with hand potato masher. Add egg, onion, bread crumbs, seasoning, garlic powder, salt, pepper and chipotle sauce. Mix well to combine, then shape into 6 patties.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Arrange patties in a single layer (working in batches, if needed) and cook, flipping once, until golden brown on both sides and cooked through, about 10 minutes total. Transfer to buns, top with lettuce and cheese and serve.

New mom poem from 19 Oct. 2008

between sleep
almost morning
quiet and warm with you, baby
my beautiful little boy
soon our exhausted nights will end
--first poem written w/ my 'Motherhood' magnetic poetry (o:

I know that cars line the streets
but swaying in the dark, urging this boy in my arms to sleep,
the sky and air smell a hundred years old.

1905, standing on my newly-built porch, staring at the dirt street and
listening to the occasional dog howl
Contemplating the yellowing leaves of the trees and the
grim face of the darkened house across the street...

I suppose my petticoat self never thought about drive-bys
Or frowned at cop cars racing 90 down the street.
Instead she might have feared wayward horse hooves
Or street car mishaps - dangers of these downtown suburbs.

But I'm sure we both wished for sleeping babes and a full night's rest
Sweet dreams and a morning sun
And the promise of warmth as the winter whispered hello.

Long-Cooked Pork Shoulder

This is going to be ready in about 2 hours. I finally went to the Asian store by our house (13 block walk to downtown Denver) and was able to find the [Shao Hsing] wine and the double [black] soy sauce, along with some other favorites I haven't bought since my last time in the Falls Church Han Ah Reum.

Long-Cooked Pork Shoulder from Mastering the Art of Chinese Cooking by Peter Perez, Senior Marketing Manager for Chronicle Books.

The Pacific Mercantile store is pretty impressive. And it's less than a block away from the Denver Buddhist Temple, which is just uplifting to walk by. Awesome courtyard.

P.S. I love you, Meiji Kinoko No Yama Chocolate mushrooms, sincerely.